


slip a rose in my hand (kiss me goodnight)

by aeonpathy



Series: put the sun in my hands [9]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Forbidden Love, Halloween, M/M, Mentioned Arranged Marriage, halloween party, richkids!au, star-crossed lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-12-09 15:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20996840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeonpathy/pseuds/aeonpathy
Summary: donghyuck thinks that no amount of roses and fairy dust can mend broken hearts, especially when it comes to him.





	slip a rose in my hand (kiss me goodnight)

**Author's Note:**

> yay halloween angst <3

donghyuck thinks that any holiday is an excuse to throw a party.

parties full of noise, alcohol, and regrets. 

but he's a loyal friend, which is why he's going to jaemin's sprawling mansion in the hills, where there are nothing _ but _people craving those three things. jaemin always throws the biggest halloween parties. besides, all of his friends are attending as usual, so can he really complain?

it's also a decent break from work. being the child of a father who knew no breaks, donghyuck never got a chance to live his childhood. since he was born, it's been set in stone that donghyuck would inherit his father's throne; there was no one else that could run such a company, one built from the ground up with calloused hands. 

he's running a little late, so no doubt he's going to get scolded by none other than the host himself. mindlessly, donghyuck steps on the gas. the driveway gate to jaemin's is wide open. people are scattered out front, posing in front of impressive horror decor or the parked, expensive cars, snapping pictures to upload as a keepsake. 

when he steps out of his car, donghyuck can feel the eyes on him. the next in line for his father's pharmaceutical empire, rumored to be ambitious and witty, he's a force to be reckon with in the industry. people know of his face, his name, his status, his game, his money, but never get close enough to know who he is past those.

but some stare for other reasons. 

donghyuck knows he looks good, especially tonight. last week, renjun was pestering him about costumes, before cutting off donghyuck's indecisiveness and picking for him.

_ "you're going to be a faerie and i'm not taking any criticism on that, donghyuck. too bad, so sad. boo hoo. it's final. i think you'll look cute, anyways." _

so here he is, as his own version of tinkerbell. 

maybe it's the glittery green eyeshadow, or the choker with a dark green gem dangling from the black velvet, or the little green pouch with gold glitter in it. or maybe the outfit, but donghyuck's just glad the wings work properly. they're two tiny wings that rest on his back with twinkling led lights, which make them stand out. 

he's walking through the front doors when someone tackles into his side.

"oh, hyuck, you look so cute!" chenle yells over the music, pinching his cheek. "i thought you weren't going to agree, but i'm glad renjun talked you into it."

"hey chenle," donghyuck smiles, hugging the other. "thanks. i figured i might as well pick clothes i could wear daily, you know? i think it turned out okay."

chenle grabs his hand and tugs him through the crowd.

"_ okay? _wait until the rest see you. you're glowing, literally."

they weave through party-goers until they end up in the kitchen, where there are more solo cups than what he can count on his fingers, and even more bottles. through the mess, he spots jaemin and renjun sitting on bar stools, chatting with each other.

they're a few feet away before renjun turns his head and gapes at him.

"oh my god, i knew it was a good idea," he says, pulling donghyuck into a hug. jaemin piles on top of him, which makes chenle hug him again, and now they're in a group hug.

donghyuck finally notices their costumes.

renjun's dressed up as kiki and jaemin's levi, while chenle's no face mask is hanging off the side of his neck.

"am i missing the studio ghibli and or anime theme here," donghyuck jokingly asks. "where's jisung? actually, where is your other boyfriend?"

"why, miss me that much?" a voice says smugly behind him. he yelps and spins around to slap jeno on the arm.

"i haven't seen you in two months, so maybe i do," he huffs, embracing his friend. jeno laughs and pulls him closer. "jisung's in the bathroom, if you were wondering."

but he comes closer to donghyuck's ear, lowering his tone. "and i don't mean to alarm you, but i came here to tell you that i just saw a mclaren pull up. not saying that it's who i think it is, but i'm pretty sure it's who i think it is and you haven't seen each other ever since...yeah."

donghyuck sighs.

"renjun, jaemin, i'm stealing your boyfriend for a few minutes. chenle, tell your boyfriend to come say hi to me when he gets back. oh, and let me know when the others get here!" he shouts over his shoulder, jeno trailing behind him.

he doesn't hear their responses before they're in the _ very _packed great room, people dancing and drinking. he and jeno manage to sneak into a corner, hiding them from view from the two walkways.

"you gonna be okay?"

_ trust jeno to get straight to the point. _

"i'm fine."

jeno gazes at him sadly.

"hyuck, you've been avoiding him for longer than i've been gone. and it's been taking a toll on both you and him. technically, he isn't even supposed to be here. he's supposed to be," jeno brings his fingers up in quotations, _ "bonding with his fiancée." _

donghyuck's chest tightens at the words. jeno's right (as he usually is); for one, donghyuck can't bring himself to say anything snarky. he's been running ever since news broke out. he's been burying himself into his studies, tossing himself at the company, and sleeping a maximum of five hours a night.

and for two, the word "fiancée" jeers at him. it laughs in his face, waggling its fingers in his direction, aggravating and pissing him off at every chance it can.

if he was atlas, that damn word would be his burden, the weight he has to carry for eternity. 

so he blurts the first few things that come to mind.

"you don't think he saw my car, do you? is it too early to ditch? where can i hide? do i stick out?"

it's jeno's turn to sigh. 

"hyuck, he's still your best friend...and if we're being like, technical here, you two are still technically dating. you need to talk to him, preferably _ today." _

donghyuck groans.

"gee, jeno, you don't have to make it harder for me," he says, blinking back his tears. "then i'd have to break some hearts tonight."

and jeno looks at him, eyes softening. _ "hyuck—" _

he shakes his head.

"i'll do it. just...he'll have to come to me first."

"that won't be very hard at all," jeno mutters under his breath. he peers over donghyuck's shoulder and claps his hands together. 

"hey tuxedo mask, looking sharp! sorry hyuckie, looks like someone needs my help." and with that, jeno mouths him good luck and ducks back into the mob of bodies.

he's about to turn around to see who tuxedo mask is, but donghyuck's question gets answered before he can even look at the person.

"hyuck..." the voice starts, and donghyuck flinches, closing his eyes. he wishes this was a terrible dream that he could wake up from, but alas, he feels the looming presence that's standing behind him. 

_ that voice. _

donghyuck hasn't heard it in so long, he tries so hard to keep it together. with a deep breath in, he forces his eyes to open and turns around.

behind him stands, well, tuxedo mask, but definitely...a version he wasn't expecting. there's no top hat or cape, the suit jacket is slung over a single shoulder, and instead of a formal outfit, there's a plunging v-line button up and black ripped jeans. the only things that scream tuxedo mask are the rose in the breast pocket and the mask, and maybe the dress shoes.

but one thing that stands out the most, is what hurts donghyuck the most.

around mark's neck lays the rose gold necklace he got him as a birthday gift. it glints in the disco lights, and donghyuck still wishes that he's in a some messed up dream.

he tries to lighten the mood.

"wow, tuxedo mask, was not expecting it to be sexy," he tries, voice dying off at the end of the sentence. he bites his lips nervously, already trying to find a way to escape, but a warm hand finds a way onto his face and down to his jaw.

a simple touch, but enough for donghyuck to bite down even harder, almost drawing blood.

"hyuck, please...can we just go upstairs and talk? i haven't seen you in months," mark says, and he caves instantly, because mark sounds _ drained _, something rare and unusual.

with a firm grip, mark's guiding him through the crowd, trying to get upstairs into an empty room without getting them detected. he stops in front of a very familiar door, opens it, peeks his head inside, and drags donghyuck in. mark closes the door behind them and walks towards the bed, sitting at the edge and peeling his shoes off. he looks back up at donghyuck.

"lock the door."

blindly, donghyuck reaches behind him to find the door knob, and turns the lock once he finds it.

mark's tossing his jacket and ripping his mask off, continuing to look at him with tired eyes. _ "duckie, you're trembling, baby." _

donghyuck's eyes water at the name, and his lips start trembling, too. yet, he still stands near the door, not really knowing what to do.

"um," he mumbles, blinking rapidly, "i feel like i can't breathe right now."

the other opens his arms.

"baby, come here."

and he takes long strides to mark, collapsing as soon as he feels arms wrap around him, tight like mark doesn't want to let him go. they don't say anything for a minute, too overwhelmed by being in each other's proximity after _ so fucking long. _

mark starts to unravel his grip around donghyuck and slips out from under him. he takes off donghyuck's wings in the process, and takes the pouch of glitter, setting it on the bedside table.

"i'm going to get some makeup wipes, i'll be right back," mark says, walking into the adjoined bathroom. he comes back out with wipes in his hand, reaching for his face. 

"close your eyes. tell me if i accidentally hurt you."

it takes around thirty seconds for mark to wipe his makeup off. he opens his eyes as mark tosses the wipes into the trash can. they stare at each other again before mark leans down and presses a soft kiss on his forehead, two more gently against his eyelids, one on his nose, and one against the corner of his mouth. 

donghyuck sniffles, which makes mark gather him in his arms and lay them against the pillows propped up.

"you know," mark whispers, "last time we didn't see each other for this long, i thought you were dead."

he chuckles quietly against mark's chest, memories rushing back to him all at once. 

donghyuck had gone away on a last minute business trip which lasted half a month. mark had called him in panic, and he had to calm him down, reassuring him that yes, he was alive, and yes, he'll be coming back.

"you're never going to let that go, are you?" he asks, playing with mark's hand on his stomach. the latter shakes his head.

"never."

they go silent again, not wanting to break the tranquility they've created. but donghyuck has questions, ones that _ need _to be answered.

"why are you even here? i thought you weren't supposed to be going to parties now."

the air goes tense, and donghyuck can feel mark freeze. the latter relaxes quickly, exhaling loudly.

"i'm only here to establish an alibi," mark whispers against the top of his head. "might've fucked around and hid some important papers, slashed a tire or two."

donghyuck snorts.

"is that so? only for an alibi?"

mark thrums his fingers. "knew you'd be here. all of us come to nana's party, whether we like it or not. i had to sneak out, it was the only chance i had to see you, to get you alone like this, where no one could find us."

his eyes start burning again at the confession.

mark positions both of their hands in front of the bedroom window. the moon shines brightly tonight, the sign of a good halloween, and it filters through into the room. mark interlocks their hands tightly and brings their now joined hands back down.

"what'cha thinking about, duckie?"

"about how much i've missed this." his voice is wavering, but he doesn't care. mark only hums.

"tell me again. let it out tonight, baby."

this time, he doesn't hold back his tears. 

"i've missed you so much," he whimpers, tears sliding down his face. "i'm sorry that i ran away. but i couldn't stay around, _ mark, _ i couldn't fucking stay. it hurt so much. i couldn't be there to see you be with somebody that wasn't me. i thought you'd forget about us, care less about me. and it still hurts, because you're getting married in two fucking weeks and _ it's not you and i." _

"i'm not going anywhere, duckie," mark replies, stroking his hair. "how could i forget you when you're the love of my life?"

it's so fucking bitter. their situation is romeo and juliet, lovers never meant to exist in such a society.

"the love of your life is your soon-to-be wife," donghyuck says dryly, wiping his cheek. "mark, you're getting married in two weeks, what are you talking about?"

"just because i was forced to marry doesn't mean i'll love the damn person, hyuck," mark bites, breath shaky. "don't just put us below that. you are the one i want to marry. you know this, our friends know this, and fuck, my parents probably even know that. _ don't forget us." _

he can't breathe. donghyuck's vision is blurry and his body is racked with sobs. mark pulls him up and kisses his teary cheeks.

"you can't just treat her like a stranger," donghyuck cries, "you said you wanted kids, babe."

"then i can't keep kissing strangers and pretending that they're you, hyuck..._i just can't. _you make me want you more and more."

and mark's breath feels hotter against his face.

_ he's crying. _

"i hate this so much," he whispers, clutching onto mark harder. "i want you for myself, but i won't ever get that. all i'll ever be is your best man at your wedding and your best friend in the end."

mark pauses for a couple seconds.

_ "run away with me, then." _

donghyuck chokes. 

"you've thought about that already, haven't you?" mark questions, wrapping his arms around donghyuck's waist. "we should run away, hyuck. go live the life we want and have our own family, how does that sound?"

"you're making me want things i can't have," he says sadly, staring up at mark. "you know we can't do that."

the other's eyes fills with more tears.

_ "and why not? _ i can't marry some girl i barely know and call her my wife. i don't want her, i want you. you're the only one who knows me, duckie, only you have this to yourself," mark mumbles, moving donghyuck's hand to rest over his heart. "this belongs only to you. please, hyuck, _ please." _

donghyuck has never wanted to be so selfish until now. especially with how broken mark's voice is.

"babe, you're the next ceo of your company. you've put in so much of your life for it, you can't just abandon it like that," he whispers, cupping mark's jaw. "trust me. i want to. i want to run away with you and never look back. that's all i could ever want."

"...but?"

"but that's so selfish of us, mark. i would take your hand and run, but we have too much to lose. we were born into a life where sacrifices were for our companies. we weren't destined to be together in this world."

they lay there, crying quietly as time slowly passes around them.

mark breaks the silence. 

_ "lie to me then. _ i'd rather stay here for the rest of my life and pretend we'll be okay."

he continues to talk. 

"i thought i had my life all planned out, you know? my plan was to slide a ring on your finger and call you mine. i wanted us to run our companies by each other's side. i wanted to start a fucking _ family _ with you. i've dreamed about this from the moment we started dating. i'd fall asleep to the thought of coming to your office and seeing you playing around with our kids, you know? _ i want that so bad. _ i've always dreamt that i'd wake up next to you and i'd kiss you every fucking morning because that's how it's always been. and then i'd see your pretty little face wake up and smile at me and _ god, that's all i fucking want, hyuck. _when it comes to you i'd rather be selfish, because there's no other you. who's going to complete me the way that you do? how could i love someone else that won't ever make me feel the way you make me feel? you've been my escape in life. i'd give my life to you. because you've been there for me all my life. you've been there even when we constantly fought. how could i forget you when you're the only reason i know what love is? because you've given me something to look forward too. and i'd give you everything. you have my heart. and you always will. i will love you to the ends of this earth no matter what. you are my only true love, and that will never change. i could never forget us. i never could. not when you mean the most to me."

mark's stumbling over his words as he cries into the crook of donghyuck's neck, and the only thing donghyuck can do is hold their hands tighter.

he decides that he should probably say what's on his mind, too.

"i didn't know what i wanted in life at first. but mark, i don't know if you understand how much you mean to me. you are the stars in my sky, the love of my life, my soulmate. you and i? we were born to be aligned. there is nothing more than us. because you have made me feel like the luckiest person on the planet. when i was at my worst, you made me feel loved and validated. that it was okay to ask for help, to have someone to lean on. and i'm glad it was with you. because you showed me that i could do what i wanted. that if i put my mind to it, anything could happen. you were there for me all along. and yeah, i've dreamed about us too. what would we be doing? the number one thing we both wanted was our own family. crazy, isn't it? to see you in our house playing with our kids. you'd be the greatest dad. nothing made me happier than the thought of coming home after a long day and seeing you bonding with little kids. but we can't have that, mark. we can't have that and i wish we could be in another universe where we could. that's the life i want for us. in another world, that will be us. if i could change fate, i'd do it in a heartbeat. i'd do anything for you. even in this life, i'll love you forever. for us, it's to the ends of the earth."

they need to catch their breaths. these confessions are hurried, because as far as they both know, they won't be able to say these things again. 

"i love you. i love you, and i hope you always know it's you that i love. i don't care that you're the best man at my wedding. if i have to pretend it's our wedding, i'll fucking do it if it means i can have that day with you. if i can never get you the way i want to, then i'm dancing with you no matter what. i need to at least have a dance with you. out in the open. by ourselves, just like our wedding plans. remember? we'd talk about how our first formal dance would be on our wedding day. after, i'm gonna whisk you away from the party and we're gonna drive. pretend like we're running away. because that's all we could ever do. pretend we aren't in love, pretend like we didn't fall asleep to the thoughts of our future together."

donghyuck glances up and kisses him, because that’s the only thing he knows how to do right now. he kisses mark slowly, body going lax. 

and mark kisses back with fervor, like he’s going to disappear within the next few minutes and lose his way. mark grips onto donghyuck’s back tighter and holds him down. there’s no space in between them as they put their anger, distress, and heartbroken selves into one last makeout.

donghyuck pulls back, trying to calm down and think.

"what time is it?"

mark pats around the bed for his phone and checks the time.

"...it's two am."

"...can we please sleep?"

so they undress and carelessly toss their clothes on the floor, snuggling together under the blanket.

"goodnight, babe. love you," donghyuck says, so quietly that he's afraid mark didn't hear him.

"goodnight duckie. i love you, too."

☾

when donghyuck wakes up the next morning, he's curled up in the blankets all alone.

of course. all good things come to an end. he blinks at the ceiling for a while before turning over again. this time, he notices a rose and a piece of paper. squinting, he reaches for the paper and begins to read.

☾

_ to the love of my life, _

_ good morning, when you read this. i'm sorry i couldn't wake up by your side, i had a meeting with some foreign board officials today that i couldn't miss. i told jaemin that you'd be in bed, so he knows you're still here. oh, and i asked him to make you your favorite omelette, so please eat, because i know you get grouchy when you're hungry. _

_ last night made me feel a little better. i got to say what i needed to say to you. but i'll keep saying it on here, too. i love you. i always will. i still want kids with you, i still want to marry you, and kiss your pretty face every morning, which, by the way, i did before i left. you're too good for this world. beautiful. you're always beautiful. anyways, and yeah, i want to grow old and gross by your side. _

_ you're right, it was selfish of me to want to run away and leave everything behind. you're gonna yell at me again, but it's true. i'd still do it in a heartbeat. just say the word, and we'll get away from here. _

_ i'm going to run late if i stay any longer. so i'll write what i also forgot to tell you last night. you were so cute in your fairy costume, i hope you know that. wanted to kiss you really badly in front of everyone, but you'll know we'd both get beheaded or even worse, get banned from seeing each other ever again. also, maybe we should've matched costumes. remind me next year, and i'll try to do a couples costume with you (if i can sneak away.) i'm leaving the rose here because you know, tuxedo mask always leaves his rose after he disappears. _

_ i love you. you are my moon, and i am your star. _

_ forever yours, _

_ tuxedo mask _

☾

perhaps they were prince endymion and princess serenity in a past life. star-crossed lovers, reborn in this universe as tuxedo mask and a not so very sailor moon, but a faerie. donghyuck picks up the rose and stares blankly at his pouch of gold glitter sitting on the table. 

_ roses and fairy dust can't mend their broken hearts. _

_ but there's always the next life. _

**Author's Note:**

> did i cry writing this? yes, yes i did.  
i also did not expect this story to clock in @ 4k words...i thought it would be 2k max...
> 
> [mark's costume](https://twitter.com/laoxaichay/status/1189953978479435776?s=19)  
[hyuck's costume](https://twitter.com/laoxaichay/status/1189953841208295425?s=19%22)
> 
>   
[twitter](https://twitter.com/laoxaichay)  
[curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/laoxaichay)


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